Declaration of Love
by trycee
Summary: Mulder needs Scully's comfort but a misunderstanding could divide them. Short Story


**Declaration of Love**

**by Trycee**

**Time Line: Season 7 before All Things**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files. This was written for fun not profit.**

Mulder bound up the steps to Scully's apartment, he had to see her, he had to talk to her, he needed the comfort only she could provide, he had no one else. He stood outside of her apartment door and knocked a few times, listening for her voice but he heard nothing. He pulled out his keys and found her key and placed it in the slot and turned the knob. Scully was humming as she lotioned her body, and then slipped on her thin silk nightgown that fell above her knees. She stopped for a moment, straining to hear. She could hear a few taps at her door and so she quickly grabbed her robe, slipped into her pink puffy slippers and walked out the bathroom door just as Mulder was entering.

"Mulder!", she said, alarmed. "What are you doing here?"

"I...ah...", he said as his eyes drifted from the wetness of her hair all the way down to her smooth legs and feet.

She watched him look her up and down and then she pulled tighter on her white comfortable robe, making sure nothing was exposed. He'd seen her naked before, he'd seen her in her nightgown's and robes but the way he was looking at her just then bothered her a little. She became self-conscious under his gaze and her face flushed waiting for him to speak but Mulder continued staring her up and down, his eyes fixed on her legs. "Mulder!"

"Oh...ah," he said, looking embarrassed. "I know its late, Scully, but I needed someone to talk too."

"Mulder, it's almost midnight..."

"Please, Scully," he said, approaching her. He ran his hand down her arm and she stiffened despite the fact that she was trying to act natural. Mulder's touch always elicited that reaction from her but she always played it off. "I really need someone to talk too..."

She moved away from him and motioned for him to sit at the couch. "Want something to drink, Mulder? I have a few beers...you're brand."

He smiled and then took off his jacket, laying it across her couch. He waited until she returned with the beers and then he sat just a few inches away from her. Scully tucked her legs underneath her, covering herself with her robe and then she became aware of how close in proximity they were to each other. "What's wrong, Mulder?", she said calmly, though her stomach was churning.

"I had a dream, Scully...", he began.

"Mulder, it's midnight...you usually don't fall asleep until...when do you sleep?", she said, sipping very lightly on the beer. It was a little too strong for her taste especially this late at night.

"I took a nap on my couch," he said, turning his attention to her. He could see her hair curled up from the shower, and he reached out and touched it. He could feel her jump inwardly though she kept her cool outer exterior. He ran his fingers through her hair a few times as she held her breathe and then he pulled away. "My father...the man I thought was my father...he knew I wasn't his son, Scully."

Her eyes grew big as she stared at him. She reached out to cup his face. "Mulder...I'm so sorry...how did you know?"

"It came back to me in a dream. Ever since I had those treatments..."

"The treatments that could've killed you and me...", she said, as her hand slid down to his neck and then his shoulder. Her hand stayed there, trying to reassure him though she couldn't help but touch him. They were always touching each other in some form or the other so it wasn't unusual for their hands to linger a little longer than usual.

"Yeah...that...", he said, looking deeply into her deep blue eyes. Scully was mesmerized by his equally gorgeous hazel blue eyes. He always held pain in the recesses of his eyes and it made her love him even more. "I...ah...I've had dreams every since then and I remember watching them fight..."

"Your father and mother or your father and CGB?"

"All of them...They introduced Samantha to him...but I refused to address him. I remember clinging to my father... to Bill Mulder telling him I'd be a good boy if he'd just be my dad again..."

A tear ran down Mulder's face and Scully wiped it away. She was silent listening to him, trying to be a silent comfort for him. "He pushed me away," he said, shaking his head as if the pain of his memories was too much for him to handle. "He pushed me away, Scully..."

"Mulder...", she whispered. She pulled him down until his head rested on her chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and cried into her shoulder. "Mulder...it's okay...I'm so sorry...Mulder...let it all out...it's okay...I'm here for you...I love you..."

Scully's eyes widen even further as she realized her slip but Mulder hadn't noticed and he continued to cry. He was twisted slightly laying on her shoulder, squeezing her waist as she showered his head with soft kisses. "Mulder...I'm here."

"And you love me?", he asked through tears.

"You know I do," she said, soothingly. "Mulder...sit up a little," she said, as half his weight seemed to pin her to the couch.

He lifted up and she helped him lean back into her, as he lifted up his legs and laid his head on her lap. He stared up at the ceiling as the tears began to stream down his face onto her robe. She wiped his tears with her hands, and smoothed his hair as she spoke softly to him. "Tell me what you remember, Mulder?"

"Samantha was scared, we were upstairs...I don't remember which house it was or how old we were...but they were fighting...I can hear my mother begging CGB not to take her...I can hear him telling my father or rather Bill Mulder that he had no say in it..."

"Go on...", she said, running a finger over his chin and down the side of his face.

"Bill said that he didn't want me, he wanted Samantha and that they could take me... But that son-of-a-bitch told him that Samantha wasn't his either...so then Bill slapped my mother..."

He said as fresh tears began to fall. She leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Its okay...Mulder...I'm here."

"He screamed at her saying she was a whore and that he didn't want any of her bastard children! She begged him not to leave her...she said what would the neighbor's think...Can you believe that Scully? She was worried about her reputation as the high society government wife! She was worried what her damn neighbor's would think if she got divorced!'

"I heard that son-of-a-bitch laugh and I launched at him trying to hit him but he held me away by my head. He said he liked my tenacity. Can you believe that?", he said, turning towards her.

Scully's eyes were clouded with her own tears. "Mulder...its not your fault who your parents were..."

"They were all liars Scully...", he yelled. "The whole lot of them! Bill Mulder...my father by name only hated me Scully. He drank every single day and would look at me with such disdain. He'd wince every time I called him dad...what else was I supposed to call him?", he said, sitting up. He grabbed up his beer and took a few swallows. "I tried all those years to please him...to get him to love me...especially after Samantha was taken...I was a constant reminder to him that my mother had lied...had stepped out on him...and that the child he really wanted...Samantha was gone...leaving me there."

Scully placed a soft hand on his shoulder. "Mulder...I'm so sorry they treated you like that...you didn't deserve it."

"Did I, Scully? My whole life I've been told I wasn't worth it...or that it was my fault...for Samantha's disappearance or because I was a reminder of her affair. What am I supposed to believe, Scully?"

"That you are worth it, Mulder. That you are a special man with a heart of gold...that you are loved."

"By who?", he started crying. "Scully...I have no one...no mother now, no father...no sister."

"You have me...", she said, turning his shoulder so he could face her. "You have me, Mulder and I love you... And you have my family...except Bill."

A smile appeared on his face, though a few stray tears continued to fall. "No...Bill wouldn't like the ideal of me being apart of his family."

"Its not just his family...it's mine too and my mom already claims you so there," she smiled.

"How do you love me Scully?", he said, looking her in the eye. "Tell me..."

She squirmed a little in her seat, her eyes darting down a little. "Mulder...can't we talk about this a little later."

"When later, Scully?", he said, turning his body around to face her. "Either you love me or you don't...now you told me you loved me but I need to know in what way."

"God!", she blushed. "This isn't the way I planned on telling you!", she said, looking away.

Mulder reached over and turned her chin so she was facing him. He was a few inches from her face. "Just tell me Scully. I told you a few years ago that I loved you...and I'm not talking about brotherly-love or best friend-love or even love between partners...I mean I absolutely love you with my entire being...my entire soul...and I can't go on without you...If you don't love me this way...just tell me...but I need to know..."

"Oh God!", she gasped. "Mulder!"

"I'm in love with you, Scully! Ever since I met you...it was love at first sight for me. I played it off for awhile but when Duane Barry took you I knew...I knew..."

"Damn it, Mulder!", Scully yelled. "Damn it...why do you do this to me?"

Mulder looked confused. "What? Why did I do this to you?"

"Mulder, I love you too...I 'm in love with you...I loved you for a long time too...but how do I know you're just telling me this because you're vulnerable right now?", she said, her arms folded. "How do I know its true and not because you're hurting right now? Just like in the hospital when you were high off that stuff...you declared it then but you never said another word...and I thought maybe it was just from the medicine but now you're doing this to me again...and I don't think my heart can take it," she said, as tears traced down her face.

Mulder was furious. He grabbed up his coat heading for the door. Scully jumped up grabbing his arm. "Mulder..."

"Its obvious you don't feel the same way..."

"But I do," she said stunned. "Mulder...I love you more than life itself...but you're telling me this after telling me how awful your parents treated you...how do I know its real love like how I feel for you and not loneliness..."

"How many declarations of love do you need Scully?", he said, pushing past her. He opened the front door and she raced down the hall after him, catching his arm again.

"Mulder...please...I'm sorry...please don't leave," she said, trying to block the elevator. "Mulder..."

His face was red and his hazel eyes were narrow. She could see him wobble a bit. "Please don't go...please if you go there won't be any hope between us again...Mulder this isn't the way I planned on telling you...", she said, trying to hold him back as the elevator door opened. "Mulder...please!", she said, as he removed her arm from his.

"Scully...I've waited too many years to pour my heart out to you and you just threw it back into my face.",he said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, god!", she said, letting him go and then backing away from him. She gripped her stomach and turned away, running back into her apartment.

Mulder held the elevator door open, he could hear her cries filtering from the outside down the hall. He closed his eyes, trying to steady himself. _What do I do?, _he reasoned._ If I leave it's over between us...If I leave it'll never be the same. _

Mulder pushed the elevator button going down and then stepped off the elevator, watching the door close. He then walked back down to her doorway and opened it slowly. He could hear her screams and cries from her bedroom and he made his way in, closing the door behind him. She was laying on her bed, her head buried into pillows. He sat down on the bed next to her and she looked up at him, surprised. "I though you were gone...", she said, trying to hide her face.

He reached out to touch her face. "I could never leave...I'm sorry, Scully...I didn't mean to get so angry..."

"Mulder," she said, grabbing him around his neck, burying her face under his chin. "I thought I lost you...Mulder, I'm so sorry...I didn't mean it the way it came out..."

"I know," he gulped. "Scully, I've been rejected so many times..."

"Mulder, I never meant to reject you, I love you...", she said, crying harder.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and moved her back so he could look her in the eyes. "Scully...I know its not the right time and I understand that you might think I was just being vulnerable but Scully...I've tried so many times in so many ways to tell you I loved you...I couldn't help myself...even if it was the wrong time..."

She wrapped her arms around him. "Can we start over, Mulder?"

Mulder leaned into her and she wrapped her arm around the back of his neck. He kissed her softly on the lips. It was a sweet kiss intermingled with tears as they locked lips, deepening the kiss. He broke away and looked into her eyes and could see the love in them. He kicked off his shoes and then laid his head down on top of a pillow. Scully laid her head on top of his broad chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist. "Let's start over from the top..."

."Okay, I love you Dana Katherine Scully..."

"I love you too Fox Mulder," she whispered. "Now tell me about your father..."

Mulder kissed the top of her head. "Okay...it was a hard childhood, Scully...I never measured up to his standards..."

**The End**

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